God's Hands

I love God. I believe that Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. I want Christ to guide me on a day to day basis. I feel no shame in stating my faith to the world. Today I am upset with Him. For years I have been asking God to heal my hands. They hurt and are very achy. They swell and often times effect my daily life. Well today my husband comes home and tells me he has a word from Christ to me. He then warned me that I would not really like what he has to say. Then he quotes the scripture below.

2 Corinthians 12 NLT

Paul’s Vision and His Thorn in the Flesh

1 This boasting will do no good, but I must go on. I will reluctantly tell about visions and revelations from the Lord. 2 I^[a] was caught up to the third heaven fourteen years ago. Whether I was in my body or out of my body, I don’t know—only God knows. 3 Yes, only God knows whether I was in my body or outside my body. But I do know 4 that I was caught up^[b] to paradise and heard things so astounding that they cannot be expressed in words, things no human is allowed to tell.

5 That experience is worth boasting about, but I’m not going to do it. I will boast only about my weaknesses. 6 If I wanted to boast, I would be no fool in doing so, because I would be telling the truth. But I won’t do it, because I don’t want anyone to give me credit beyond what they can see in my life or hear in my message, 7 even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.

8 Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. 9 Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. 10 That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

The fact is this scripture really hit home. But i am unsure how I am boastful. I see God healing people. Why do I just not feel good enough to be healed by God's grace? My husband said I really have missed the point of the scripture. But have I really, doesn't this mean that God will not heal me and I should be happy about this. It seems that even as a child He has been preparing me for something. I am not even sure what that would be yet. But preparing me. I can't possible see how this is going to prepare me for something. I just want God to heal my hands. I am tired of suffering. I know and I believe Jesus Christ is the healer. It states here the when I am weak I am strong. How many more weaknesses do I need before I am given strength.

Lord, please forgive me for being upset with you. Please help me to see what I feel when I read this passage. Open the blinder of my heart mind and soul, to be as graceful and sincere as Paul. And Father please heal my hands, Please let know that this is not an end to a healing you will provide me. Or if it is help me accept it gracefully and receive help for my hands from a physician. In Jesus Name Amen